With Bipolar Disorder, or any mental illness for that matter, there comes a point where you reach the recovery stage. The mania has settled or the pills are finally starting to work and you can feel the depression lifting. These are very crucial periods in our lives as people afflicted with a mental illness.
Right now, this time has come for me. My mania is finally settling down, I’ve went from 4 hours of sleep a night to a full eight hours in the last 2 days. I just recently had my medication switched and the dosage upped, so I’m sure that has had it’s impact. I can feel the awkward feeling of not being able to conquer the world that I just so recently had. I can feel my insane amount of energy draining to a more “normal” level. Almost to the point of feeling lethargic. I am starting to be able to process my thoughts and the voices and shadow men that so often came to visit me, are no longer making appearances.
It’s a strange feeling, recovery. I’ve worked so hard to get to this point the last month or so and now that it is here, I almost feel like I have not done enough. That I should be doing more to help myself. I should be doing more for my family, for my friends. I should be doing something.
I talked with my therapist about this and she gave me some great words of wisdom that I would like to pass onto anyone else who may be feeling this way.
You are doing great, give yourself a break and stop being so hard on yourself. You just struggled for weeks, or months, you are finding your way back. You are on the right track. You are doing what you need to do and you are doing great. There comes a point in recovery when you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and you will be proud. You will love the person that you have become, or the person you are becoming. This takes time for most of us, but as long as you celebrate the small steps and stay on course, you will get to that point.
So hang in there fellow Bipolars. Things can and do get better. If you are struggling now, or need help, please reach out. Life is too short to spend it in a constant state of instability.